i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
