If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
do herpes really smell.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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