ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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