I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize