My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
