Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
