So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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