eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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