There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
honey bunches of taint.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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