why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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