I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
