You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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