i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
