I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
