love makes seman taste better
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
