Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
