hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I love you.
Bad choice
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