I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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