Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
