Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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