I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
