apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize