Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
