and you said cock pushups were impossible
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
