You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
