i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
