was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
