I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
