Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
