did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
