i dedicated my morning wood to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
