We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
