i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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