God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We talked him into tasing himself.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
