dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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