East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
