i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this boner is exhausting
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
