puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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