So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Porn is love you can see.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
