I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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