just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
