Plan B is the new Plan A
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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