I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
