I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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