i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
