Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
