it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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