I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
