puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
