i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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