Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
