In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize