dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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