Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
