i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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