Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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