I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
