We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
